DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
