Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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