You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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