Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
