there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
