chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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