im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
