yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize