ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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