Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
