so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
