The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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