There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
