Sry I called you an 8
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
