I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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