Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
