theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
