so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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