Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
