We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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