i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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