I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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