Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
