Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
