Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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