So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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