kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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