I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i love accidental penises.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
