First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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