Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize