Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
