You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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