her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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