Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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