In the future we'll all be gay
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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