bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
