She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
