so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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