I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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