cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
