so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then he tried to convert me to islam
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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