Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
