would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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