I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
