did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
