Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
