How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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