just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
