I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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