I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
