Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
