My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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