My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
