I could have mohawked her pubes.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
