There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
