Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think my moral compass just broke
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
