But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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