Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
