He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
