You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
