everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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