operation have a gay friend backfired
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
