At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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