that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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