It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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