All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
