STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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